Don't I look so much better than this guy?

Yeah - this is the dude they used in the old BK commercials. I am such an improvement.

Burger King: Ranch Song

When my belly starts a-rumblin'
And I'm jonesin' for a treat
I close my eyes for a big surprise
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The breasts they grow on trees
And streams of bacon ranch dressing
Flow right up to your knees

There's tumbleweeds of bacon
And cheddar paves the streets
Folks don't diss you 'cause you got the juice
There's a train of ladies comin' with a nice caboose
Never get in trouble, never need an excuse
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
No one tells you to behave
Your wildest fantasies come true
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves
Red onions make you laugh instead
And french fries grow like weeds
You get to veg all day
All the lotto tickets pay
There's a king who wants you to have it your way
That's the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch